Party Time Cookin'

OYSTER STEW

2011-11-26T10:12:00.000-08:00

for the first time in years i had thanksgiving eve (the "biggest bar night of the year") off from djing. instead of fucking around out on the town, i decided to stay in, quaff many founders porters, and make a fierce oyster stew. i've recently become somewhat obsessed with american classic dishes, so i was really fucking excited to get a lil PTC session in when i came across this recipe from antoines, the oldest family run restaurant in america. this is some real deal new orleans shit and a thanksgiving staple for many in the big easy. shucking oysters while drunk is basically like holding a jousting competition for your hands. you will be lucky to make it through the bivalves with enough tendons left to hold your spoon. don't worry, you will be more than happy to throw on a pair of mittens and helmet and slurp directly from the bowl after you taste the delicious sea-broth that is oyster stew.
wizard chops.
drunk shucking.
shit is starting to get real.
finished product.
50 medium oysters, such as bluepoints,
shucked (about 1 1⁄2 lbs.), with 1 cup
of the liquor reserved
12 tbsp. unsalted butter
5 tbsp. flour
4 ribs celery, finely chopped
4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 large onion, finely chopped
1⁄2 cup finely chopped curly parsley
1 tbsp. kosher salt
1 1⁄2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
1⁄4 tsp. cayenne pepper
2 cups milk
2 cups heavy cream

1. Combine oyster liquor with 1 cup water in a 2-qt. saucepan. Bring to a simmer over medium heat. Add the oysters and simmer until their edges just begin to curl, about 2 minutes. Strain oysters through a fine sieve set over a medium bowl. Reserve oysters and cooking liquid separately. Heat butter in a 4-qt. saucepan over medium-high heat. Add flour and cook, whisking constantly, until golden brown, 3–4 minutes. Reduce heat to medium; add celery, garlic, onions, parsley, salt, pepper, and cayenne. Cook, stirring frequently with a wooden spoon, until onions and celery are very soft, about 25 minutes.

2. Stir in milk, cream, and reserved oysters with their cooking liquid and cook, stirring occasionally, until just hot, about 5 minutes. Serve immediately.

SERVES 6

THIS IS MY SHIT. IT SHOULD BE YOUR SHIT TOO.

2011-11-19T16:37:00.000-08:00

PARTY TIME COOKIN PHILLY TAKEOVER

2011-11-17T08:09:00.000-08:00

this past weekend me and my creepy girlfriend took a little road trip down to philly to visit solid brass head honcho, master of the whiskey-nip, and detroit ex-pat andy degiulio. we had a rollicking snake-fuck of a weekend that consisted of many, many yeunglings, a raging launch to the new solid brass dj night (quo vadis), and a seek and destroy food and drink tour of some of the city's finest establishments. this is why i am still hungover:

italian market, south philly

3am soft pretzels with dj apt one of rcmp/ philadelphyinz fame

more alcohol, por favor.
lobster rolls make you cum in your pants.
waxed the fuck out of these hay smoked bivalves
han dynasty. best fucking szechuan.
chili oil tripe
tender vittles. duck hearts and rabbit kidneys at kanella

dicking around with some wild game at d'angelo bros.
recipes for stewed elephant and curried camel. no joke.

han at work
many whiskeys. quo vadis at the trestle inn.

one bivalve at a time.

SAY YES FIRST.

2011-08-05T15:13:00.000-07:00

WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I MAKE FOR DINNER?

2011-07-21T07:25:00.000-07:00

http://www.whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com/

DOUGHNUT UPSIDE DOWN CAKE.

2011-07-21T07:11:00.000-07:00

http://www.viceland.com/blogs/en/2011/07/18/girl-meets-food-doughnut-upside-down-cake/

FRENCH FRIES

2011-02-07T07:56:00.000-08:00

French Fries - Laquisha (Feat. Taiwan) from Youngunz on Vimeo.

FUCK FEBRUARY FOOD & MUSIC TOP 10

2011-02-07T06:40:00.000-08:00

1. james blake "the wilhelm scream"/creamed onion with bacon and chives

2. lunice "hitmanes anthem" /zucchini and summer squash w chili, mint, and toasted almonds

3. autre ne veut "demoneyez"/shishito peppers two ways

4. pictureplane "gothstar" /soupnancy

5. jimmy edgar "funktion love remix"/spicy squash salad w lentils and goat cheese

6. dan hartman "i can dream about you"/diy hotsauce

7. travis porter "make it rain"/momofuku brussel sprouts

8. molly wagger "weekend"/bacon lardon salad at roast

9. team social "condiments"/famous dave's devil's spit

10. j dilla "tomita"/cafe cortina sugo del veneto sauce

PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT

2011-01-07T06:21:00.000-08:00

about a month and a half ago i was at motor city liquor on gratiot buying a couple deuces and a pack of smokes. it just so happened that the four loko was in the same section as the beer i was trying to purchase. as i was perusing the the contents of the cooler some squirrely looking cretin lurked up into the cooler along side me, and with a glassed over loko-gaze, starts rambling to me with a voice that sounded like he gargled with sawdust, about the powers of four loko and how "dem kids are passin out from dat stuff." this was in the midst of the four loko hype and all the talk about banning it, and something in my brain just clicked and i said fuck it... i need to get on sawdust jim's level. i bought two four lokos and was on my way. after getting home and taking down a couple tall boys with my girlfriend, i can tell you that the loko is no joke-o. if you are looking to make your next PTC session extra buck, i would recommend tracking down a few cans before getting the pots and pans out. although i've braised meats in malt liquor in the past, it had surprisingly never occurred to me to actually cook with the magical wizard sauce they call the loko. the brilliant minds over at the ridiculous food society of upstate new york, in what was obviously a stroke of PTC genius, had the foresight necessary to realize this finely crafted beverage's full potential and take it to the kitchen. three words thats can be used more less interchangeably with party time cookin: four loko pickles.

UNICORN MEAT

2010-10-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

CHEESEBURGER SMOOTHIE.

2010-07-26T23:42:00.001-07:00

THIS DUDE HAS THE RIGHT IDEA.

2010-07-26T07:17:00.001-07:00

FANCY FAST FOOD.

2010-07-22T00:13:00.000-07:00

these people are on some major party time cookin shit. dunno why they dont step their website design up though.
http://www.fancyfastfood.com/

RAW ANTELOPE

2010-07-21T23:23:00.000-07:00

while scrolling through some old iphone photos i found this little gem lost among my sxsw album. this photo was taken at uchi, a contemporary japanese restaurant in austin, tx, and one of my favorite party time experiences of the year thus far. for whatever reason nobody had a camera or my phone died or something, but this shitty iphone pic is the only one i have from uchi. south texas antelope served raw with grilled garlic mousse, coriander and candied olives. chop that down, pass it all around.

PARTY TIME COOKIN CHICAGO TAKEOVER

2010-07-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

party time cookin recently took a trip to the windy city for a weekend of immoral self indulgence and a dj set or two. this is how we go hard in the paint...

rolled up to wicker park around 6 or 7 pm on saturday and randomly parked the car on milwaukee by the six corners. finished the rest of the tallboy i had in my lap and opened the door to a sea of detroit hats. i was like wtf is going on here? apparently slum village was doing an in-store at st. alfred's and we had just coincidentally stumbled upon it. tight. hung around st alfreds for a bit and then decided to duck around the corner and boss up on big star for some treats of the mexican persuasion.

big star is the latest project from the team behind blackbird and publican, two ultra- heavy hitters on the chi town gourmet scene. because ptc is baller (and because i used to sleep with the head waitress), we skipped the hour and a half wait and headed straight past the half-block line of hunger-drooling yuppies to a table, for an early evening feast filled with pacificos, obscure bourbon and retardedly good mexican food. the highlight was definitely the braised pork belly tacos. crispy, unctuous and perfectly seasoned. the pork belly had a nice firm texture and was not too fatty or gelatinous, as can often be the case. the guacamole was some of the best ive ever had, fresh... like kool and the gang's 1984 smash hit. their salsa game is no joke at big star, with three different ones to choose from, all uniquely flavored. my only quam was that they got a little bit pussy when it came to the heat level, as i really need my mexican cuisine to be on that scarlett johansson tip.

guaca flocka flame.
tacos al pastor with grilled pineapple, onion and cilantro and crispy braised pork belly tacos with tomato gaujillo sauce and queso fresco.
fish tostada with wood grilled basa, cucumber onion spread, radish cabbage and avocado (right). the tostada de pollo with wood grilled chicken thigh, chayote, black beans, poblano, coriander and red onion (left).
hung around wicker park/bucktown getting nice before heading over to the slum village/ crown nation show. caught crown and the first half of the sv set before i had to dip out to le passage for my 1-3am dj set. showed up more less wasted to this boujie downtown bottle service club in pink shorts, an iguana t-shirt and a teal tie-dyed hat. i wish i had a pic of the bouncers face when i rolled to the front of the velvet rope line and told him i was djing. he looked me up and down for about 30 seconds and then (in a robin leach accent) said "in shorts?!" the rest of this night was spent sacrificing my artistic integrity while waxing a bottle of don julio 1942 ($550 in the club). after the gucci came out the dance floor turned into a 20 deep girl fight... i kept asking if i should stop the music but nobody responded so i just kept the hood joints rollin and watched the shit unfold. it was awesome.
this brings us to sunday funday, and the "party time cookin guide to crashing a house party" portion of the post. you know things are getting deep when u start in on the triple sec.
when crashing a house party it is important that you eat every last bit of food that the host had provided for his/her "real friends." the leftover skin from this beercan chicken ended up being perfect to mix in with the meat-free pasta salad, adding both protein and flavor to an otherwise bland dish.
quinoa? quin-naw. ok, who invited the fucking hippie? encountering this type of vegan nonsense is the only exception to the "eat every last bit" rule. the best thing to do when coming across a dish like this is to start a food fight. whoever brought this bullshit to the party should obviously be your first target.
i have no idea what was on this plate before we showed up.
i believe there was a pasta salad in this bowl.
ptc x jimmy buffet.
once the party winds into the early morning and guests start to make their exit, drinks will become more and more scarce. this is when "the hunt" begins. leave no stone unturned on your quest for another beer. refrigerator drawers and doors make for discreet hiding places, as was the case with this unassuming microbrew. gotcha.
crosstown beef.
sriracha makes everything better. round three down the hatch.
a hidden cooler opens to reveal a cornucopia of alcoholic treats (most of them drank by the time this picture was taken). as a general rule, the deeper you dig, the better the beer will be. these budweiser cans gave way to a myriad of expensive imported beers.
nic notion reaping the benefits of "cooler digging" with an ice cold hoegaarden.
dance party on division street. after getting bitched at by the sleeping neighbors we moved the party into innjoy where i played an impromptu dj set.
this dude has this fucked up contraption attached to his bike and does a full forward somersault while still riding. i traded him a copy of the party time cookin mix cd to do one for us.
urban camping. we ended up with no place to stay at 6am and i coincidentally had my tent in my car from a trip to the mountains a few weeks ago. ended up setting this bitch up on a rooftop in the outskirts of the west loop.
after about 2 hours of sleep, one of the female tenants rolled on our tent, bitching up a storm and threatening to call the police if we didn't get off the roof. this is me contemplating to just say "fuck this lady" and take it to the next level with an early morning BBQ.
decided i was too hungover to get arrested and took the tent down.
last ptc stop of the trip: kuma's. kuma's in logan square has what i consider to be the best burger in chicago. they play loud heavy metal while you eat, and all the burgers are named after heavy metal bands. a massive slab of super high quality ground beef is topped with a wide variety of ingredients depending on what one of the 20 plus different burgers you choose from. the bun on this burger is really the key component. what starts out as a puffy, high rising pretzel roll, squishes down with every bite you take and is nearly completely flat by the time you reach the end of your burger. this bun is particularly resistant to the elements and never gets that sick sogginess that other buns would have when trying to stand up to a juicy, heavily topped burger like kuma's. this time around i tried the "insect warfare" with panko-crusted goat cheese, bacon roasted corn and green chili medallion, cilantro, green chili salsa, and paprika creme fraiche. it was fucking awesome. the beer list at this place is out cold, with tons of rare and hard to find brews. usually the wait for a table is at least an hour so its super easy to get smashed before you sit down, especially if your fucking with one of their super strong ipa's.
the original kuma's burger: bacon, cheddar, fried egg. super shitty picture... going to try and replace it with a better one next time i go.
bathroom at kuma's and the last stand in chicago.

postscript: totally forgot about underwear swimming in the wicker park fountain and wooping quelle's ass in tennis.

the party time cookin' guide to THROWING A BBQ THAT DOESN'T SUCK

2010-06-30T01:34:00.000-07:00

With 4th of July right around the corner and thousands of Americans preparing to take their best shot at throwing a summer BBQ bash, it's crucial to keep a few things in mind before delving into an afternoon of searing meats and irresponsible alcohol consumption. Many amateur entertainers think that calling a few friends over and tossing a couple hot dogs on the ol' weber will sufficiently pass for a backyard BBQ.These people are called “failures” and should be deleted from your contact list immediately. To quote party time cookin' vet and west coast kingpin Snoop Dogg, throwing a BBQ with this mindset "is like Harold Melvin without the Blue Notes, shit'll never go platinum." Any person of substance knows that hosting the perfect BBQ is a "labor of love", and if you are successful, will hopefully result in half naked girls showing that "love" to one another poolside by the end of the night. There are many elements that must come together in perfect harmony for your BBQ to be a hit, and we here at Party Time Cookin' have personally undertaken the duty of making sure you fully understand these elements, giving you the tools and skills necessary to realize your bacon wrapped dreams for "throwing a BBQ that doesn't suck.”

LOCATION
Ideally your goal should be to have your BBQ look as close as possible to a rap video. With this ethos in mind, the first step is choosing a suitable location for the various types of debauchery that make up a top notch cookout. The most important factor and the one thing you can't do without is a pool. Chances are you don't have a pool yourself. This may seem like a bit of a hindrance at first, but it’s actually perfect, as you definitely want to throw this type of rager at someone else's house. This is where you need to turn on the charm. Persuading somebody to let you trash their perfectly manicured lawn and in-ground pool is not the easiest task, but a little finesse and a few white lies will get you farther than you think. When convincing your best friend's grandparents that you need to use their backyard oasis for the next 12-15 hours, you need to take a smooth approach with the language that you use. For example, the word party becomes a "gathering" or "reception", your "homies" and your "peeps" become your "colleagues" and your "peers", and you won't be "getting faded and stuffing your face" but "there will be a refreshments available." Got it? Good. When stretching the the truth (ok... downright lying) like this, it’s important to keep in mind what a pool can do for your soiree. Aside from providing a much needed retreat from the Detroit summer sun, a pool surely encourages a certain dress code, particularly among the female attendees. If you have doubts about this YouTube Luke’s (of 2 Live Crew fame) Miami bass anthem “It’s Your Birthday” and you will understand everything you need to know. It is a tried and true Party Time Cookin' rule that less clothes equals more fun. The only person that thinks otherwise is Jermaine Stewart, as he expressed in his 1984 smash hit "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off to Have a Good Time." Loser. If you absolutely cannot get a hold of a location with a pool, you can still have your BBQ not suck by providing a slip and slide or kiddie pool and adding an extra fifth of vodka to the punch. This will certainly add a ghetto (yet kitschy) element to the BBQ that the suburban hipster chicks you invited will find "fresh" and want to make out with you.

FOOD

Any Woodbridge slacker with a backyard and and a bit of change can throw a couple tofu burgers on the grill and buy a case of PBR. This approach to throwing a BBQ will most likely end up with several guys in flannel shirts passed out on your couch and floor while the CCS undergrad girls you coerced into coming over have left because you ran out of booze and your apartment smells like vegan farts. Party time failin’.

The most essential component to stepping up your BBQ game is the cuisine. Let’s begin with the meat. If you don't already have a relationship with a butcher this is the perfect excuse to start one. A quality butcher will most likely look like he could beat your ass and will be able to answer any questions you have about what you are buying (cooking time, temperature, etc...), recommend a particular cut or type of meat depending on what you are trying to do, and may even toss in a recipe or two if you're lucky. Gratiot Central Market (in Eastern Market) is basically a shopping mall with butchers in place of clothing stores (pretty fucking awesome, right?). Walk into GCM on any given Saturday (when Eastern Market is in full effect) and the place is busier than the Fairlane Lids at Christmas time. This is the holy fucking grail of meat. GCM's expansive aisles are lined with glass showcases packed to the gills with a multitude of pink, white and flesh colored delicacies, filling any Party Time Cookin’ enthusiast with a yearning desire to frolic through its walkways like a unicorn or dolphin. From here you can really go any direction you want, opting to go the traditional burger and hot dog route or get a bit more adventurous with your culinary choices. Ribs are always a number one stunna here at Party Time Cookin', and what we would consider to be a must at any legitimate BBQ. If you have your weight up and aren't a pussy about spending a couple extra bucks you may want to think about a bone-in ribeye as your slab o' choice. The bone-in ribeye is the Guilty Simpson of this BBQ shit. Ask your butcher to cut it two inches thick (a standard steak is one inch thick), season with a bit of sea salt and ground pepper and you're good to go. This is the type of steak that gets girls damp. You may want to consider a "VIP section" of the grill for this bovine masterpiece, as this might not be something you want to share with the dude hovering over your grill with a pint of E&J asking where the blow is at. If you’re really feeling like a boss i would recommend getting your Slim Thug on and stealing your rich uncle's master card or robbing a convenience store, and going to 1-800-exoticmeats.com and ordering African wild lion steaks for the entire party at $299 a pop.

Although to most of the country true BBQ is a specific process involving slow cooked meats smoked over an indirect hardwood flame, we here in Detroit more or less say fuck it and call anything we throw on a grill while waxing a six pack BBQ. Since you are not likely not to be smoking your meat, you are going to need seasonings and sauces to wow the crowd. These are five Party Time Cookin’ approved ways to "spice things up" (not like that one time your girlfriend tried to do the same by slipping her pinky in your butt during sex)

Famous Dave's Devils Spit: This peppery sauce can be found at pretty much any major grocery store and is the the Party Time Cookin' baste of choice to baptize your precious meats in.

Chermoula: A Moroccan marinade comprised of fresh herbs, oil, lemon juice, pickled lemons, garlic, cumin and salt. This will step your seafood and chicken game up big time. Do a Google search and hundreds of variations on the recipe will pop up.

Dry Rub: Not to be confused with dry humping, this is the first step in preparing your meats for the grill. It is essentially a mixture of ground spices used to season raw meat before you cook it. Many grill masters guard their rub secrets with their life, but there are plenty of recipes available online.

Habanero Tabasco: Normally Party Time Cookin’ prefers an independently produced hot sauce as opposed to the commercial, but this sauce is fucking awesome. A serious amount of heat and a bit of a Carribean flavor. If at any point the party starts to become stagnant, throw some reggae on, find a long straw, and blow this up the nose of the first person that passes out. Make sure you have somebody around with a video camera. This can be found at any major grocery store.

Middle Eastern Garlic Sauce: The same sauce found in shish tawook sandwiches, you can pick up a side of this from any Arabic restaurant in Dearborn or make it yourself. Great on lamb and chicken, and will make your breath a lethal weapon for the next 12 hours.

UPGRADE YOUR SIDE GAME

Round up as many ears of corn as you think you need for the amount of guests you have. Peel down the husk halfway and remove as much of the stringy bullshit as possible then pull the husk back up. Place corn on the grill over high heat. Cook 10 minutes on each side, charring the outside layers of husk. Remove corn from the grill and top with crumbled feta, cayenne pepper and fresh lime juice. Gnaw until kernels are gone and discard of your finished cob by tossing it in the neighbors yard.

BEVERAGE
There are several things to ponder when weighing your libation options. The most important factor and number one rule as far as drinks are concerned is simple: DO NOT RUN OUT. Think of your BBQ as a jet plane and alcohol as the fuel for that plane. Your fun filled fiesta will 100 percent crash and burn without it. Once the whiskey is gone and your guests have drank the final few beers hiding in the bottom drawer of your refrigerator and turn to the dry vermouth, your party will surely start to suck. Even the small amount of time it takes to make a beer run can create a lull in momentum that can be impossible to recover from. A very easy rule to follow is to estimate the amount that you think your guests are going to drink and than double it. A couple fifths and a quarter of a keg left over the next day is much better than having the Suicide Girl you had topless in the pool at 1am decide she wants to go home because she's "bored." This leftover booze will also serve as in incentive to keep your alcoholic friends around the morning after to help you clean. Although it all comes down to personal preference when it comes to choosing the booze, stock up on these five Party Time Cookin’ elixers and watch your BBQ hit harder than a J Dilla snare.

Jello Shots: These sneaky little fuckers are like the Skittles of the alcoholic beverage world. You will forgot you've had 12 of them until you're puking a rainbow in the hot tub.

Tequila: This is the spirit you turn to when your party needs a second wind. You will marvel at the magical powers of this potion when you are cleaning the enchilada sauce and condoms out of your bathtub the next morning (long story).

Malt Liquor: Along with being up to two times as potent as regular beer, there is something that just screams unruliness about an alcoholic beverage with a name like "Crazy Stallion." It can also double as a base for your marinade.

Bear Fight: This is an Irish car bomb followed directly by a Jager bomb. Enough said.

Vodka Soaked Watermelon: This requires a bit of preparation, but is well worth it. Anytime you provide a way for people to "eat" alcohol things get fun fast. Drill a hole the size of a quarter three inches deep in the top of an uncut watermelon. Scoop out the watermelon from the hole and eat it. Open a fifth of your vodka of choice, turn the watermelon on its side and in one fluid motion place the fifth in the hole you drilled and turn the watermelon hole side up. Leave for 2 days and let the fifth drain into the watermelon.

RECREATION
Aside from mind altering substances, any BBQ that doesn't suck should have some recreational activities loosely planned for guests to partake in. There is a fine line here, as you want to provide the type of amusement that is going to compliment the party and keep things interesting, but not consume the guests to the point that it diverts their attention from blacking out. The last thing you want is the four hottest girls at your BBQ locked into a never ending game of Spades. As a general rule, the more destructive or dangerous the activity, the more fun things will be and the less your party will suck. Here are five Party Time Cookin’ approved activities that can be enjoyed by your cookout companions while drinking heavily:

Fire Diving
Anything That Involves The Word "Thrashing"
Jarts
Ghost Riding Competition
Anything That Involves “Blowing Things Up”

MUSIC
This is a hugely important aspect of your BBQ and other than food should take top priority over pretty much everything. This is really the lifeblood of the party and the catalyst behind the reckless abandonment of morals and values that is necessary for a successful BBQ. There is really only one rule here: stop being such a fucking tight ass and hire a DJ. A After Washed Out has played for the fifth time on your "chillwave playlist" and the restless glare in your guest's eyes starts to give way to departure, you will realize the epic nature of the mistake you made by not getting a DJ to take care of the music. The girls will slowly start to become irritable and annoyed at listening to your drunk ass friends ramble about their "new band" or how "they are so fucking wasted." Slowly but surely they will start to make their exit, each one adding a notch to the "suck level" of your party as they go. Once again...get a DJ. If there happens to be some sort of emergency situation, like the DJ you hired ends up puking behind the garage after too many jello shots, or inadvertently gets stabbed in the face by a stray jart, you can thank your lucky stars (and Party Time Cookin') that international spot-rocker and Detroit legend DJ House Shoes has blessed you with this playlist to save your sorry ass.

HOUSE SHOES' SUMMER BBQ PLAYLIST
I Get Lifted - George McCrae
Mister Magic -Grover Washington Jr.
Riding High - Faze-O
Peg - Steely Dan
Rock Creek Park - The Blackbyrds
Let The Dollar Circulate - Billy Paul
What You Won't Do For Love - Bobby Caldwell
Strange Games and Things - Love Unlimited Orchestra
Brazilian Rhyme - Earth,Wind & Fire
Rising to the top - Keni Burke
T Plays It Cool - Marvin Gaye
Running Away - Roy Ayers
Doin' It To Death - The JB's
Mary Jane - Rick James
Let's Stay Together - Al Green

STEP YOUR PIT GAME UP: DETROIT CUSTOM GRILL KING ROBERT FELTON

Pit Master Robert Felton has been building custom made barrel style grills in Detroit ever since he got laid off from Chrysler in 1983. 27 years in the game and he's still holding it down. Safe to say, this man knows a thing or two about grills. Built out of heavy gauge stainless steel, cement and wood, this is the type of pit Robocop would sear his meats in. Ranging from basic, no frills metal drums to cooking vessels that could be mistaken for military grade artillery, Felton's craftsmanship has attracted clients as far as Israel and Rome. Drop one of these masterpieces in your backyard, throw on a copy of Phat Kat & Elzhi's Cold Steel and crack a fifth of bourbon. You are officially a bad motherfucker.

Detroit Custom Grill King

19645 Hanna, Detroit

313 221 0617

PARTY TIME COOKIN’ FAMOUS RAPPER POLL

What is the one thing you 100% have to have at a 4th of July BBQ?

Phat Kat: ronnie apple seeds...grey goose, cranberry and a splash of apple pucker.

VCount Macula: if your in the 4th letter, a vest, those ain’t all fireworks.

Nick Speed: that ohana lemonade is always on deck!

Marv One: it comes in a 12 pack, tastes awesome and makes ugly people cute...beer!

Quelle: fox fed shark burgers.

THE PICKLEBACK

2010-05-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

i recently discovered this rare and enchanting treat after being hipped to it by my friend tyler at the bronx (prob my fav bar in detroit). the pickleback is basically a shot of anything you want followed by a shot of pickle juice. simple. obviously the way to go with this is a nice, chilled vodka, but ive found that tequila works good as well. this might sound absurd at first, but once you try it you will surely realize the magical qualities of the pickleback. i actually have found this shot to be a bit dangerous as the pickle juice washes any hint of alcohol-y unpleasantness out of your mouth, leaving you feeling like you never even took a shot. it is similar to sorcery or dragon-slaying in that respect. the catch on this is that you basically have to be at a bar that either serves food or uses pickles in their bloody marys or else they will not have the juice. i am definitely planning on spending my summer in a foggy green, pickleback induced haze.
ps.. if you've ever been to the bronx before than you know why the picture is so dark

DEMF/MOVEMENT FOOD & RESTAURANT GUIDE

2010-05-21T16:57:00.000-07:00

its that time of year again; the detroit electronic music festival is less than a week away and thousands will be descending upon the motor city to get their faces melted by bass and treble at hart plaza. in between the capacious amount of drugs and alcohol you are most likely ingesting, it is important to keep yourself well nourished. abusing your body and mind for three days straight days is always a good time, but unless you are on a crystal meth bender all weekend (in which case you wont be eating anything but your fingernails) you will need to reboost with a good meal from time to time. with a bit of leg work and a couple bucks in your wallet you can really treat your stomach right in this city. ive compiled a list of what i consider to be the best food spots to hit over the weekend. these are not necessarily my all time favorites, or what i would say were the 100 percent best restaurants in detroit, but they all meet the loose criteria i had in mind when putting myself in the shoes of your average demf festival-goer. the spots on this list are all:

a) cheap as fuck (allowing more room in the budget for that second pill of ecstasy or maybe another couple glowsticks)
b) for the most part pretty fast (you cant be spending all your time at an 8 course prefix dinner when you run the risk of missing starski & clutch dropping detroit booty anthems all over that ass)
c) are not downtown-touristy- line-out- the- door, but more underground or off the beaten path gems (again, saving precious time for you to get your jit on)
d) are all good as fuck

see you over the weekend.

BBQ: BURTS MARKET PLACE AND JAZZ CLUB

berts jazz club in eastern market really holds it down on the bbq tip. they do it up the way bbq should be done... outdoors, no frills, slabs of smoking meat everywhere you turn. the grill at berts probably cost $20,000 alone and looks like something robocop would smoke his meats in. the sides are minimal and everything is served on paper plates or styrofoam. no brisket or pulled pork (which isnt really a detroit/midwest thing anyways), strictly ribs, chicken and sausages. if you decide to go on saturday when the farmers market is in full effect you can even get a little soul/r&b karaoke in. i would say that all in all slows in corktown has a bit better tasting food, but i suspect that it will be line-out-the-door packed all weekend and doesnt offer the overall block party/family picnic "experience" that is berts.
Berts Market Place & Jazz Club
2727 Russell Street
Detroit, MI 48207-2614
(313) 567-2030

INDIAN: ALADDIN SWEETS & CAFE

this hidden gem is actually a bengali restaurant tucked away in the outskirts of hamtramck. i dont think anything on the menu is over $7 or 8 dollars and most appetizers are $1-3. both the vegetarian and meat samosas come with this yogurty, cumin and cilantro sauce that is mind blowing. if you are high maintenance or cant deal with a bit of shoddiness, than first of all you probably have no business being in detroit in the first place, and secondly should definitely not plan on going to aladdin for your curry fix. water comes served in styrofoam cups, all the food is served on paper or styrofoam plates, and there is surely a rogue (but charming) sort of hole-in-the wall feel to the entire aladdin experience. my faves on the menu are the tikka masala, the tikka briyani and the paneer. all outstanding.
Aladdin Sweets & Cafe
11945 Conant Street
Hamtramck, MI 48212-3141
(313) 891-8050

BURGER: MILLERS

this dearborn hideaway may be a bit of a hike from hart plaza (15-20 min drive), but its definitely worth it. recognized on national best burger lists like food network and GQ, millers serves what i consider to be the best burger in detroit. this has been the the cause of many heated/drunken arguments in my life, as many native detroiters claim places like red coat tavern or the bronx as the champ of burgers. fuck that nonsense. millers is where its at. this is a burger made for the purist... high quality ground beef cooked on a 25 year old flatop grill, a basic bun (no sesame seed), and cheese, with your choice of pickles and raw onion served on the side. no bullshit "special sauce", no lame-ass lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, just the bare bone elements coming together to melt in your mouth, leaving a juicy stream of cheesy fatty goodness dribbling down your chin. burgers arrive to your table on wax paper and can be accompanied by either fries (in my opinion the way to go) or onion rings. classic. there is no menu at millers and everything is on the honor system. aside from the best burger you will ever have, they are one of the only places i know of in metro detroit to serve miller high life on tap. nothing more fitting for the champagne of burgers than the champagne of beers.
Millers Bar
23700 Michigan Avenue
Dearborn, MI 48124-1823
(313) 565-2577

PIZZA: BUDDY'S/ SUPINO'S

its so cliche that im actually a bit embarrassed to say it, but fuck it... pizza is my favorite food. im a bit of a connoisseur, as my parents have owned italian restaurants and pizzerias my whole life (i basically grew up in one) and i have been eating the shit out of this doughy delicacy all over the country for nearly thirty years now. if it fit the criteria and wasnt so far from the city compari's (my family's joint) would definitely be my pie of choice. either way, im just going to flat out put this out there...detroit does pizza better than anywhere in the country. i feel like most of the country is unaware that detroit has its own style of pizza, but it most certainly does and to me its better than pretty much anything outside of girl on girl porn. the epitome of the detroit style is buddy's. a square, (somewhat) deep dish pizza that might seem basic upon first look, but is really set apart by a buttery, almost caramelized crust perfectly cooked to a golden brown crisp. yeah... the crust game is deep son. sauce is always served on top of the cheese and toppings. eating a slice of detroit style pizza can most closely be compared to having really great sex, every bite you take working towards a chewy, crunchy, butter brushed climax. not getting your hands on a corner slice is the culinary equivalent of blue balls. although buddy's pizza may look a bit like its dumpy, half retarded cousin, the chicago deep dish, you cant judge this book by its cover, as the dough is actually surprisingly light and airy, unlike the ultra heavy, one-slice-is-a-meal chicago pie. although buddy's is the definitive king of the detroit pizza, louies, jets, and paisano's are great alternatives. my buddy's reccomendation is the detroiter (duh.), topped with wisconsin brick cheese, pepperoni, italian seasonings, and parmesan... out cold.

as you can tell from my remarks in the previous paragraph im not a big fan of chicago style pizza. i actually fucking hate it and am not going to waste my metacarpal strength typing anything else about it. however, new york on the other hand, has some great pizza parlors, and if that is your forte than its a must that you work your way over to supino in eastern market. once again, im going to stick to my earlier claim and say that that detroit does new york style pizza better than new york. supino steps up the game with a little gourmet action, offering a wide variety of both "white" and "red" pizzas. although a bit more time consuming, the look at supino is to get a freshly made small or large pizza as opposed to the pre-made slices. the dough and crust is off the charts good... thin, cripsy, and chewy at the same time, obviously made from high quality ingredients. the sauce on the red pizzas has a distinctive fresh taste and never overpowers the rest of the ingredients. my favorite is the bismark or "one egg" pizza, topped with fresh mozzarella, prosciutto and egg. the over easy egg baked on the pizza lends a lot in the way of texture, silky and velvety, and a perfect contrast to the crisp prosciutto and crackly crust. the amount and quality of the cheese is just right, never gobby or greasy. its almost a curse that supino is a block away from me, as there are times when im out of groceries and i end up living on on the shit for days. the owner dave is super rad and is always in the store making sure the pies are coming out perfect.
Buddy's Pizza
17125 Conant Street
Detroit, MI
(313) 892-9001‎

Supino
2457 Russell Street
Detroit, MI
(313) 567-7879‎

THAI: SALA THAI

detroit doesnt have the biggest asian community, so there really arent that many spots to choose from, but if youre in the mood for a taste of the orient, sala thai is for sure the way to go. about 6 months ago, after eating here about once a week for the past 2 or 3 years, i randomly asked the owner what he recommends while stopping in for a carry out. not even deliberating for a second, he insisted i try the green curry. i have been stone cold hooked ever since. the gaeng khew waan, or #18, has more of a zesty, aromatic thing going on than any of the other dishes ive tried here. sliced eggplant, bell peppers, sweet basil leaves and coconut milk form the base for the perfectly seasoned, aromatic green curry sauce. it is awesome. as most area thai restaurants cater to the american palate with their heat levels, sala thai does not fuck around. i usually go medium plus and my nose is definitely running by the last bite. im on a mission to work my way up to extra hot, but will probably need to call the paramedics in advance before attempting it. if you are dumb enough to try the extra hot out over demf weekend, document it and send me the photos... you will be the first person ever in the party time cookin' hall of fame.
Sala Thai
3400 Russell Street
Detroit, MI 48207-2056
(313) 831-1302

BRUNCH: LE PETIT ZINC

this tiny french cafe wins when it comes to picking a spot for an early afternoon nosh (did i honestly just use that word?). unassumingly tucked away in basically the middle of nowhere detroit, this is the perfect spot to combat a hangover amongst friends. my usual move after a night of pounding whiskey at some seedy demf afterparty would be just to head straight to the bronx for a bloody mary and a beer, but sometimes you have shit do do and cant blow yourself out that early in the day. the decor alone can really take your hangover from a 9 to a 7, all cheery and sunlit with a garden to boot, bringing you back to the light after last nights blackout. you can pretty take any route you want food-wise, opting for to go for crepes, baguette sandwiches, a salad, or french classics. there is nothing on the menu over $8 so its totally feasible to try a few things. the coffee here is european style and is on the serious rocket fuel tip. ive often thought that drinking coffee when you're hungover is like breaking a vase and trying to tape it back together, and have had an anxiety attack after taking down three cups of the shit they serve at lpz in one sitting. my faves on the menu are the goat cheese crepe and the ratatouille sandwich. the only downfall of le petit is that the service can be slow from time to time, although i think thats what they are going for... that sort of euro, we sip our latte and live life like time doesnt exist, romantic feel, so if you're rushing to get to redbull stage to see shigetto you better plan on hitting lpz early . either way, skip the watered down bottomless mimosa spot and get your crepe on.

Le Petit Zinc

1055 Trumbull

Detroit, MI

313 963 2805

ARABIC: AL AMEER/ LA PITA/ NEW YASMEEN BAKERY

dearborn, michigan boasts the largest community of middle eastern people outside of the mideast so you know the food game is deep. i grew up in dearborn and the food at al ameer, la pita, and new yasmeen have been a staple of my diet since i can remember. i lived in chicago for 5 years and this was probably the one type of food that i craved more than anything while i was out there... nobody in the country does arabic food better than dearborn. thats a fact. at la pita, which is on the west side of dearborn, and a bit farther from downtown, my deal is pretty much always the same; a cup of lentil soup, either tabbouleh or baba ganoush, a shish tawook sandwich with extra garlic sauce, and a sweet sunshine smoothie. cant beat it. al ameer is deep in the heart of arabic dearborn on warren avenue and is the place to truly experience the ethnic island that is the eastside. i usually switch it up when ordering at al ameer and have never been disappointed. everything from the raw kibbie to the lamb shawarmas are amazing. for the most part, the arabic population in dearborn are muslim and dont drink alcohol so most of the restaurants have some sort of juice or smoothie bar, and the one at al ameer is straight fire. the best thing on the fresh juice menu is the al ameer specialty...chunks of strawberry, apple, banana, cantaloupe,pineapple, mixed in mango juice, topped with raisins,pistachios, honey and ashta. i actually never have any idea what ashta is when im drinking it, but it must be delicious. new yasmeen is more deli counter style (all of the food is in glass displays and you order at the counter) and is the spot to hit for more homemade style dishes, pastries and sweets. if you are craving a taste of the middle east you cant go wrong at any of these places. yallah habebe.

CONEY: DULYS

coney island restaurants are unique to detroit, and are basically greek american diners that specialize in making coney island hot dogs. a coney dog is a frankfurter topped with chili, onions and yellow mustard. it is the type of cuisine thats pretty much strictly reserved for the 3:30 am, after the bar, ass wasted times in your life. in other words, exactly what you need demf weekend. by far the most popular of these in the city is lafayette, and if youve never been to detroit, and have never had a coney, that is really the only place to go. skip the rest of this post and get real with yourself. however, if youve already experienced the magic that is lafayette and you dont feel like fucking around with a bunch of wasted douchebags stumbling in from the the tigers game, than dulys is the joint to hit. i pretty much only end up at dulys after ive been absurdly overserved at a local saloon, and the birds are starting to come out. they have a much broader menu than lafayette, including breakfast and and sandwich items. the place is dirt cheap and you can almost see the grease dripping off the newspaper clippings on the wall. duly's is the guilty simpson of this diner shit. for the ultimate in party time cookin' ask for the mayo supreme...fries, two kinds of chili, loose meat, beans, onions, and half a bottle of franks red hot. call it a supreme and add bacon, jalapeños, and hot dog. ive never actually experienced it but have read about it on yelp. definitely gonna have to be my move for this weekend... whos in?
Duly's Place
5458 W Vernor
Detroit, MI
313 554 3076

POLISH: POLISH VILLAGE

hamtramck is the spot to go for polish food, and polish village is the spot to go in hamtramck. head over to yemans street and walk down a couple stairs and you are transported to what could be confused with your grandmas basement. make no mistake about it, the food here is heavier than an original pressing of saturday night special, so if you're not feeling like putting yourself in a warsaw food coma, or you're just a pussy, than you should most likely skip this spot and head over to panera for a salad. loser. anyhow, this is home cooked style comfort food at its finest, complete with an entirely polish bar and waitstaff, and old ladies in the back putting the meals together. the dill soup is a great starter, and after that you can go several ways...the kielbasa, pierogis, and stuffed cabbage are all top notch. the potato pancakes are my favorite item on the menu, crisped to a perfect golden brown, with a moist, dense center. there are several combos available, making it easy to sample 3 or 4 things on one plate. to really make this an authentic ptc session it is a must that you wash down this slavic goodness down with at least 3-4 draught okocims and a couple shots of polish vodka. last time i was at polish village i was a bit irresponsible with my polish alcohol intake and ended up getting kicked out of the next 3 bars that we went to for making somewhat obscene kielbasa-related comments. id recommend taking down half a bottle of luksusowa and then heading back to hart plaza and asking the first girl you see if you could "stuff her cabbage". shoot me an email and lemme know how it pans out for you... i hear they have high speed internet at detroit receiving.
Polish Village Cafe
2990 Yemans Street
Hamtramck, MI 48212-3264
(313) 874-5726

MEXITALIAN: EL BARZON

mexitalian? yes, el barzone does both italian and mexican food, and in my opinion does them both better than anyone else in detroit proper. tucked away on junction street in southwest detroit, you would probably never know this place was there unless you lived nearby. if you are really on a budget, el barzon may be hard to swing. although it definitely exceeds expectations for the price, it is a bit more expensive than the rest of the places on this list. actually, fuck that, quit being cheap ass and just spring for it... skip that last bag of yola you were gonna buy for the plastikman set, and splurge a little on your belly. the menu is divided into two sections, mexican on one side, italian on the other. you can either stick to one cuisine or mix it up. the bis pasta appetizer is amazing, and gives you a taste of two of the most popular pasta dishes on the menu, one with a porcini cream sauce, the other with an italian sausage ragu. off the bat you know that they are not playing games in the kitchen at el barzon, as you can taste the quality of house made pasta and rich, made to order sauces. the mexican fare really sets itself apart from the rest of the americanized, extra greasy, cheese on everything, restaurants you find in most of detroit. the mole sauce is incredible, dark and rich with hints of anis, banana, and chocolate in every bite. if you're down with seafood the camarones a la diabla might be your best bet, shrimp is served in a spicy diabla sauce with plenty of fresh lime to keep the heat refreshing. if you decide on going with an italian entree, both the gnocchi and the spaghetti scampi el barzon are superb. the gnocchi are melt in your mouth (but not mushy) pillows of deliciousness topped with a 3 cheese cream sauce. not really the healthiest choice, but neither was that last bump you did in the bathroom at the old miami last night. if you want to go light, the spaghetti scampi el barzon is fantastic, the tomatoes taste like they were just picked off the vine in the backyard and the arugula adds a very complimenting bite to the sweet, garlicy marinara. not trying to hate, but if you've been going to roma cafe all these years and think your getting the best in detroit, you're sadly mistaken. el barzon will serve you some of the best chips and salsa you've had north of the rio grande, then school you on what italian cooking is all about. im normally not the biggest fan of dessert, but you should probably hang around for either the flan or an after dinner anejo tequila off their impressive list.
El Barzon
3710 Junction Street
Detroit, MI 48210-3028
(313) 894-2070

OTHER PICKS

sandwiches/deli: mudgies

greek: laikon

sushi: oslo or noble fish if you feel like a trek

bloody mary: build-your-own bar at the bronx

obviously this is not some sort of end-all, definitive list of places to hit in detroit, and there are plenty of places i just either didnt have time to get to, forgot about, or maybe just havent been too. feel free to drop a line in the comments if you feel like i missed something or you have a food spot that you feel is a must for the weekend. party time cookin'. ten percent foodie/ ninety percent drunk.

PARTY TIME COOKIN' DJ MIX

2010-04-07T23:31:00.000-07:00

finally posting this mix. have ive had this done for quite a while now and have been giving out cd's at my dj nights. a lot of older tracks on this mix, but it will def keep your next party time cookin session extra hyphy. its peanut butter jelly time!

JAMES PANTS CURRY KING

2010-03-23T00:44:00.000-07:00

stones throw recording artist james pants gets his ptc game on.

THE WHITE CASTLE SURF AND TURF

2009-12-16T00:08:00.000-08:00

if you are fortunate enough to live in a state that has white castle than you already know the magic that this late night indulgence can conjure up after a night of heavy drinking. nothing really compliments a crave case like quaffing 15 draft busch lights at your local saloon beforehand. for this particular white castle excursion my watering hole du jour was howells, a dearborn staple and probably my favorite dive bar of all time. after several hours and several pitchers in the game at howells, my stomach started to grumble with calls for the ivory estate. me and the boys made a quick jaunt over to the silver cricket gentleman's club (where we convinced the dj to drop some billy ocean!) for a round of whiskey before heading over to the castle. upon entrance to the pale fortress i noticed a new addition to the menu... the "surf and turf". if you already know how questionable the quality of meat is at white castle you can just imagine what the "surf" is like. im thinking its mostly carp and mermaid. add a little "turf" on top and its basically like a cow ass-fucking a dolphin in your mouth. even chef paul prudhomme showed up for a taste:

for a true ocean style jamboree i would recommend an order of clam strips as a side. this addition will no doubt turn your mouth into a marine-life party fit for poseidon:

if you have ever known the troubled pleasure of "the morning after white castle" you can just imagine what the addition of mystery surf can do to this equation. i think it took me 3 days to get my digestive tract back to normal. the white castle surf and turf is a rare jewel in the fast food world and although you have to pay to play, i would highly recommend it to sea-farers and land lubbers alike.

PTC CHICAGO IPHONE PHOTO RECAP

2009-12-14T07:46:00.000-08:00

i asked my pakistani cabdriver to take me to his favorite restaurant at 3am. $10 chicken. $40 cab ride.

my cab driver ordering for me.
kuma's corner. heavy metal and burgers. probably the best i've had in chicago but no millers.
drunk at 9am making coneys and eggs.
mars and maggie take me to china town.

asian schoolgirl smoothie pose.
im the only one who got a fork.

duck tongue stirfry
solo duck tongue.

you suck the tongue meat off and spit out the bones. crazy.

E&J, BACON, AND "FOOT SPICE" VOILA

2009-12-14T06:11:00.000-08:00

a couple weeks ago friday me and chuck inglish from the cool kids got down on some post thanksgiving jams at northern lights. with the help of the couple fifths of stoli that we had circulating on stage, things ended up getting pretty much buck in the club. taking a hint from the genius that is r. kelly we got on the "after the party is the after party" tip and moved the soiree over to my house. after a few canadian club and vernors, and a little tree at the crib, i slipped into p.t.c. mode and broke off one of the trillest sessions in party time history. the pictures from this party time session really don't do it any justice, as you really had to be there for the full effect. brandon was standing on the stove above the burner dousing the pan with sriracha from 5 feet in the air while shouting out ringmaster-like taunts for "more hot sauce" to the small crowd below in some sort of old-english accent. after the dish was finished everybody that had the privilege of sampling this delicacy agreed it was the best thing they have ever eaten. i believe the e&j and medium rare bacon really sealed the deal. there is no way to ever recreate this dish without everybody involved being nearly blacked out. things are very hazy, but after some investigation the morning after (looking in the garbage for wrappers, the food left out etc...) i believe i have the full list of ingredients involved.

1pkg chicken voila three cheese chicken

1pkg frozen broccoli

1pkg frozen corn

3-5 kraft singles torn into strips

"foot spice" of two girls

ranch dressing

paul prudhomme's seafood magic

thick cut bacon done no more than medium rare

half pint of e&j brandy in the bottle

sriracha

red pepper flakes

salt

pepper

drink and smoke until sufficiently blacked out. launch jihad on your kitchen with above ingredients.

this is basically the audio equivalent of this dish:

FRIDAY.

2009-11-24T13:14:00.000-08:00

PARTY TIME COOKIN' WITH GUMBY.

2009-11-24T12:10:00.001-08:00

GRATIOT CENTRAL MARKET HUNGOVER BACON TASTETEST

2009-11-11T20:22:00.000-08:00

the pepper bacon: a very light, fatty appearance gave way to a robustly spiced, slightly smokey, not too salty slice. originally i thought it was going to be too fatty, but the texture was perfect.
the maple bacon: while cooking in the pan this aromatic slice smelled like mrs. butterworth herself was hangin in the kitchen waxing beers with me, however, the sweet-smelling fragrance did not translate to the palate, leaving a decent, but hardly maple flavored slice.
thick cut hickory bacon: this is some serious lumberjack shit right here. a briny, smoky and over salted slice that was almost reminiscent of country ham. if i had just got done chopping down trees with a bandsaw for 12 hours this might be the look. note the orange-ish strip running along the right side of the slice... it was like hard plastic...only a lumberjack could digest some shit like that.
cajun bacon: i have to say, being a big fan of both bacon and spicy foods, this was the slice i was most excited about. its hard to see from the photo, but there was a heavy dusting of cajun dry rub along the top of the bacon slab. the spice basically just disappeared into the pan leaving an overall average slice that you could have bought at krogers. this was more of an embarrassment to cajun cuisine than emeril lagasse. wheres paul prudhomme's fat ass when you need him?
sweating bourbon

chilaquiles with eggs
pepper bacon: the clear winner!

after a long night at the bars with brandon aka bill knapps, i woke up to a nagging craving for bacon. still drunk from the night before, i threw a pair of slippers and my sunglasses on and worked my way down the block to gratiot central market to score some of the meat candy i had been pining for. as always on a saturday, the market was packed. i fought my way through the crowds in a hungover stupor (i really had no business in public at this point) and eventually made my way over to the bacon section. once i was finally at the meat counter and got a glimpse of the numerous pink and white slabs lining the glass counter-front, my initial craving turned into an untamed yearning, normally reserved for late night cinemax. confronted with so many choices, i couldn't decide on what to get, so i was basically like "fuck it, give me 5 slices of each." i walked back home with my bag of treats and immediately got the frying pan going. meanwhile brandon's lazy ass was still passed out on my bed, probably sweating bourbon all over my sheets. over the years my bacon taste has changed, while i was once preferred a crispy, well done slice of bacon (amateur!), i find that after years of working up to connoisseur status, the only way to eat bacon is a perfectly cooked, slightly crispy, but tender for the most part slice. a perfect medium. i feel like most people turn the burner on high and really just char the flavor right out of the bacon only turning it once. i take a more loving approach to the art and cook slowly, over low to medium heat, constantly turning for about 20-25 mins, taking care to leave a good quarter inch between each slice. by far the best way to cook a perfect bacon slice. among the contenders for this bacon battle were cajun bacon, thick cut hickory bacon, maple bacon and pepper bacon. along with the dueling slices, i whipped up an out-cold panful of chilaquiles, utilizing the left over lupita's i had in my fridge. brandon should really be buying me drinks for this whole month after i woke his sleepy ass up with a mouth-watering plate of chilaquiles, 4 diff types of bacon and cuban roast coffee to boot. the clear winner was the pepper bacon.

perfect song to get down to while cooking breakfast: danny swain "scrambled eggs"

#FOODRAPS

2009-10-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

http://twitter.com/#search?q=%23foodraps

BACKROOM BBQ

2009-10-25T10:32:00.000-07:00

i recently took a trip to the smoky mountains for a little break from the city/dj life. on our last night in the woods we met a couple of knoxville, tn natives who we ended up drinking copious amounts of wild turkey 101 and beers with and who recommended we hit their city on the way back to detroit for what they considered to be "the best bbq in tennessee". after 5 days and 20 something miles on the appalachian trail in the smokies, we made our way over to the backroom bbq in the "old city" district of knoxville for a sandwich called "the fix." in my ridiculously hungover state i really could not have asked for anything better than this shrine to all things smoked and succulent. the fix sandwich consists of a heaping layer of pulled pork and a heaping layer of beef brisket topped with cheddar cheese and some of the best slaw i've ever had. this is all served on texas toast. there were two sauce options for the the sandwich, a vinegar based n carolina style sauce or a red sweet and tangy memphis style sauce. i by far preferred the red. the meat was so juicy and tender it nearly melted in your mouth, complimented perfectly by a peppery, vinegar-based coleslaw. to top this off we all ordered fried corn on the cobb as a side...is that even legal? ive eaten a lot of bbq all over the country, pulled pork being my favorite branch of the bbq canon, and i have to say this is one of the best bbq sandwiches ive ever had. luckily for me it was brandon's turn to drive after knoxville, because i was in a serious food coma after this plate of southern exquisiteness. props to the knoxville boys (forgot names... once again, wild turkey 101) for the look.
party timin' breakfast in the mountains.
getting waxed on out last night.
contemplating the deepness of "the fix"
halfway to a coma.
fried corn on the cobb.
the fix.

LAMBS ANGER

2009-10-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

i recently made a trip over to gratiot central market on the edge of eastern market, across the bridge from the main sheds. of all the time i've lived in the market i for some reason had never made my way over to this meat lovers paradise. it is basically just row after row of butcher counters, with everything from your typical beef and poultry to more exotic items like goat and tripe. really a dream come true for the party time cookin' practitioner. after picking up a few steaks and some salmon i decided to get a little more adventurous and grab a whole leg of lamb to roast. i chose to go with a domestic colorado (which in my experience has the best flavor) leg and had the butcher remove the bone and net it up for me (special requests like this are one of the many benefits of shopping with a quality butcher). after checking out at the market i made my way over to the party store to stock up on beers. roasting is something that should really never be attempted without an ample amount of cold ones to nurse throughout the process. i really wanted to get some hard to find specialty beers, maybe a nice octoberfest, but the liquor store by my house has a pretty crappy selection so i went with a few classic staples... newcastle, stella and sierra neveda 6 packs. once i got home i hooked up a lemon, herb and garlic marinade for the lamb and let that bitch chill for a hot 24. the next day brandon came over and we got to drinking and roasting. once i was properly lubricated, the cooking started to flow into a nice leisurely pace, and along with the lamb i hooked up a red pepper agrodolce, goat cheese and herb potatoes and a roasted beet salad with balsamic and honey. the meal ended up being 10/10, the lamb cooked to a perfect medium rare, relying not on a meat thermometer but solely on my drunken intuition. after the meal was over brandon did the dishes (hey...thats the way this shit works...see video above) and we headed out to my once a month night at the bosco. after you eat a meal like this you are really ready to get on some "look out weekend, here i come" debbie deb shit and have the extra bit of strength you need to take the party to the next level. if you saw me and brandon out that night than you probably know what i mean. lamb leg= buck in the club. vous etes des animaux.

*anybody have a favorite butcher they would like to shout out? holler in the comments

THE DRIZ GRISTLE

2009-09-30T00:58:00.000-07:00

i djed a few shows in denver this past week. after nearly destroying myself with a thurs to saturday run of russian vodka bars, lip gloss, after hours shots of wild turkey with parag, and one ridiculously expensive bottle of balvenie 21 yr old portwood finish scotch, i somehow mustered up the strength to make it to my last gig of the weekend...scumbag sundays @ the shag lounge. scumbag sundays is a ridiculously fun night, a huge skateboarder/indie/ridiculously hot girls hangout in downtown denver, complete with a stripper pole on the dancefloor and free bottles of champagne for chicks that show their boobs. after annihilating myself with expensive tequila and cheap beer, i gave the mile high city a healthy dose of mile low bass, ghettotech and loud rap music and made my way over to a place called petes. this was some sort of divey diner, pretty much run of the mill really until i brought a bit of party timin to the mix with the savage beast of a sandwich im going to call the driz gristle. this is basically the retarded bastard child of the b.l.t., with the traditional slices of bread replaced by the loving grip of two porkchops and topped off with an over easy egg. it is the culinary equivalent of a "buttfuck". at first the waitress tried to refuse my request, but things changed rather quickly when i flashed a little of that dj scrill. my friend matt tried to out-do me by ordering the same sandwich topped with sausage gravy, but he had also sustained a closed head injury from being hit with a soy sauce bottle a couple days earlier. big ups to michael trundle (aka dj boyhollow) for bringing me out to denver and being an awesome host. shouts to orion, jj, matt, stephen j, shannon, dj soup & dj mada for keeping denver tice.

tune by detroit grand pubahs "sandwiches"

CURRY CORNER BONUS PIC

2009-09-18T15:39:00.001-07:00

THE CURRY CORNER

2009-09-18T12:55:00.000-07:00

today's party time cookin post sees the release of the curry corner. this is going to be a once a month section of the blog featuring "women of the world" and their recipes. today's featured vixen is ryanne, a half sicilian alaskan native. after waxing copious amounts of cabernet and smoking a little tree, this scantily clad gourmand hit the kitchen and broke off some sicilian cooking, party time style. after the pasta was done i questioned ryanne about her alaskan roots. at this point she proceeded to break a piece of whale meat out of the freezer and dress herself in arctic furs. obviously this needed to be documented, hence the party time bonus pic. enjoy.
big props to lynn upson for the super awesome photography!

1 lb. penne
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1½ lb. sweet or hot (or both) Italian sausage
2 cloves garlic, chopped
¼ cup dry red wine
6 oz. baby spinach leaves
Salt
½ cup olive oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, drained and chopped
2 teaspoons fennel seeds, crushed
¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
½ cup crushed seasoned croutons
½ cup shaved pecorino Romano cheese, plus more for serving
½ cup heavy cream
Black pepper

Bring a large pot three-fourths full of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the penne, stir well, and cook until al dente, about 10 minutes, or cook according to the package instructions.
Meanwhile, in a large frying pan over medium heat, warm the olive oil Crumble the sausage into the pan and saute until lightly browned and cooked through, about 5 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the sausage to a warmed large bowl.
Return the pan to medium-high heat, add the garlic to the pan, and sate for 2 to 3 minutes to release its flavor. Pour in the red wine and deglaze the pan, scraping up any brown bits from the pan bottom. Transfer the garlic and the pan juices to the bowl holding the sausage. Add the spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, fennel seeds, red pepper flakes, and croutons to the bowl and cover to keep warm.
Drain the pasta, reserving about ½ cup of the pasta cooking water. Immediately transfer the pasta to the bowl holding the other ingredients and toss, adding the ½ cup cheese, the cream, and the reserved pasta water.
Season the pasta to taste with salt and black pepper.

BEAUTIFUL FOOD

2009-09-17T12:22:00.000-07:00

an older edan joint i had completely forgot about until my man huggs reminded me. a perfect motivator for a ptc session.

PARTY TIMIN' WITH DEVLIN, DARKO & AMANDA

2009-09-16T23:03:00.000-07:00

PARTY TIME COOKIN MIX CD COMING SOON.

2009-09-14T00:07:00.001-07:00

PTC SUMMER RECAP...SOME FAVORITES FROM THE IPHONE

2009-09-13T23:42:00.000-07:00

THE BURGER BOYZ AGAIN

2009-09-11T13:04:00.000-07:00

HOOD PLANT CAMPING.

2009-09-07T23:41:00.000-07:00

John Ogden Arnold
Yacht Rock Debauchery
Sleeping Spot/ Phone Location
Hood Plant Campground pic 1
Hood Plant Campground pic 2

this is definitely going to be off subject for the blog, but i really needed to post about this. i threw a yacht rock party (complete with cereal bar) at the old miami backyard yesterday for labor day weekend. myself, john arnold, joshua adams, ice cold chrissy and dave shettler djed. the weather was awesome and we rode pretty much 8 hours strong on the yacht rock tip, waxing ridiculous amounts of ghettoblaster to the sounds of michael mcdonald and toto. i was pretty much a plastered by the time we got done, but still had a bit of strength left in me to press on. me and chrissy met john arnold over at some sort of mexican themed cook-off/ bbq after the miami (where, by the way, i kept hearing about corn ice cream but never got a chance to try it.) we stayed for a glass of sangria and then headed over to eagle for disco secret. i didnt really realize how wasted john was until we got to the eagle. after witnessing him have a totally nonsensical conversation with the bartender about "special rum shots" and telling upwards of 10 people how much he loved them, i realized i should probably keep an eye on him. at this point in the night though it was basically like the blind leading the blind. i turned my back for two seconds and john was nowhere to be found. i asked chrissy if he had seen him and he said he saw him walk out the door like ten minutes ago. i was like fuck...lets go comb the area, so we got into chrissy's truck and drove around the eagle neighborhood (super seedy) for like 15 minutes, trying to find john, meanwhile calling his cell every 2 seconds. no luck. i figured he must have gotten a ride home. me and chrissy eventually gave up the search and headed over to cliff bells (where i got one of the best martinis i've ever had, the "oliver twist" stoli, tabasco and lime made dirty with pickled green bean juice) after one drink we were out and ended up coming home and crashing. this morning i heard a pounding on my door. still drunk from last night, i wandered over to the door in my boxers to find a bruised, battered and scraped john arnold standing on my door step. apparently john had left the eagle on some sort of wild eyed, alcohol induced mission to sleep in a bush (?). after falling on the sidewalk and majorly scraping and cutting up his arms, he made it nearly 2 blocks away from the eagle to a small gathering of overgrown hood plants (the ghetto flora that covers much of detroit, surviving on little more than garbage and cement) where he decided he was going to take his rest for the evening. these hood plants were directly next to a field where we saw an angry looking pack of wild dogs the night before. i guess after being in the bushes for nearly an hour a group of ravers leaving the eagle ended up spotting john in the bushes with their headlights and went and got him out of the brush. a few of them ended up knowing who john was and were like "dude, john arnold, what the fuck are you doing in a bush?" they then proceeded to take john to an after hours in hamtramck. after a few minutes with these kids, john decided to try and make the trek back to his place in ferndale...a nearly 7 mile walk through some of the sketchiest blocks in the city. after creeping through the zombie filled streets of highland park, and walking for hours john finally retired and got a cab somewhere near 8 mile. he lost his phone somewhere in the bushes the night before so we went back to the eagle this morning and tried to relocate the the area that john went down in. crazily enough we found the spot and john found his iphone in a sea of scattered glass and trash in the hood plant habitat he attempted to sleep in. john ogden arnold. hood plant warrior.

SHEFFNER

2009-09-07T21:47:00.000-07:00

well i was going to wait until my flip minohd video camera got fixed to post this blog, as i was somehow smart enough to record my late night cooking step by step, but the dickwads at mino tech support have been more less worthless in resolving my issues with the cam, so ill have to roll with the couple pics i snuck in on the iphone. this past week i started a new weekly dj night in eastern market called "expensive jeans." the new spot is basically across the street from me, so no driving is required, and i ended up getting pretty faded. my friend dave shettler aka "sheffner" ended up getting pretty fucked up as well and crashing on my floor. after waxing several more pbrs at my loft after the bar, dave decided to pass out and i decided to get into the kitchen and make some magic. it has been quite a while since i've gone grocery shopping, so the available ingredients for some ptc was scarce to say the least. as proven by this stellar dish, a limited amount of resources can really force some extra creativity into a party time cookin session. although dave was incoherent for the duration of cooking and eating, he was a great co-host, listening to my drunken rants while i simmered and sauteed, and not judging me for my absolutely astounding lapse in judgement with this sick, sick meal.

THE SHEFFNER

1 package spaghetti or other noodle you can get your hands on

1 can of chili

1/2 cup of expired cottage cheese

2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

1 cup crumbled cheez its

1/2 onion

3 tablespoons bbq sauce

3 tablespoons sriracha

several squirts of mayonnaise

this is one that you really dont want to attempt until you are sufficiently lubed up. if you think that you could come anywhere near close to passing a breathalyzer test than this is not the recipe for you. first, boil some water and get your noodles going. while the noodles are boiling away, stumble over to your pantry or cupboard and get out that lonely can of store-bought chili thats been in there for 2+ years. i prefer mine with no beans, but to each his own. in a separate pan, heat the chili. this blob of baby shit is really going to be the foundation for the dish; the canvas if you will. as you will find out with a dip of the finger, this particular canvas is a bland pile of miserableness and needs a little party time lovin to become anywhere near acceptable to eat. because this chili looks and smells awful sitting there in the pan, you will probably be tempted to give up hope and rummage through your fridge in hopes of finding something better to indulge in. do not give up. your bootleg-ass empty fridge is not going to have anything superior. search the refrigerator door for condiments. the three essentials that you'll need are bbq sauce, (i got mine from the salt lick, a major bbq spot outside of austin, tx) mayo, and sriracha hot sauce. if you do not have these ingredients than you fail and have no business reading this blog in the first place. drunkenly squirt generous amounts of each of these (at least three tablespoons) into the chili, creating a sort of condiment stew. these few ingredients will really pick your chili up out of the gutter and spice it up into something worth putting in your mouth. this alone, however, is not enough. ideally you want to get some sour cream in the mix to balance things out a bit and contrast the acidity of the chili, however, after realizing you dont have any you will have to settle for a dollop of expired cottage cheese. if you are in the proper condition to cook this meal in the first place, (one hair away from a black out) than this will all make sense and you probably forget that it is not sour cream by the time you get to eating anyways. hopefully you will have at least half an onion floating around. all my knives were dirty when i made this dish, so i used a meat pounder to mince the onion, which in my opinion was funner and faster than traditional dicing techniques. after taking to the onion like the gopher game at showbiz pizza, (the one where you try and pond the gophers on the head with a mallet) you'll want to sprinkle that into the chili along with a substantial helping of cheddar cheese. by the time you have accomplished all this, your noodles should be done. drain the water, (a dangerous feat in a drunken stupor) and toss the noodles in with the chili. after you properly stir this up, top it off with the crumbled cheez- its, a last minute touch adding flavor and texture. hopefully if you do have any one over your house at this point they are passed out like dave was. this dish is embarrassing and shameful and should be eaten alone in the corner.

"I JUST SMELLED FARTS IN MY BEARD AFTER EATING THAT"

2009-08-24T19:04:00.001-07:00

i found this crumbled piece of paper in a pair of jeans that had been lying on my floor for a month or two. i obviously had the drunken sense to scrawl down the ingredients from one of the "late night recipes" i've broken off recently. the quote is from my friend brandon after indulging in this after-hours affair . although not listed on the paper, there was a generous amount of hot sauce involved in this dish. i cant really remember what it tasted like, but im pretty sure the quote is a good indication.

COOKING WHILE BLACKED OUT

2009-08-23T14:50:00.000-07:00

i woke up this afternoon at around 3:30 pm. i opened my eyes, looked over at the clock and knew that between my super late rising time, and a general feeling of death and destruction, that last night was a good one. i laid in bed for a few minutes racking my brain, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. i got as far as remembering bits and pieces of the dj harvey loft party i was at, when i realized that there was a distinct burnt smell in the air. i peeled myself off the bed and worked my way to the kitchen, the lingering burning smell getting stronger by the step. a few stray utensils lay strewn about. i looked in the oven and the sink before finally tracing the stink to a completely black onion bagel, charred to a piece of coal. obviously this wheel of deliciousness had fallen a victim to the friendly fire of "party time cookin." now that i had located the casualty responsible for the assed out, singed smell in my apartment, i was ready to try and deal with my hangover. i opened the fridge to take advantage of the lifesaving qualities of a sync vitamin water and almost shit myself when i spotted a full pan of homemade eggplant parmesan in the lower left corner of the bottom shelf. i eyed this beast of italian righteousness with the same head-scratching mysteriousness i feel after watching a fellini film. questions raced through my still-swampy-from-last-night mind...how did this get here? why is this here? what the fuck? after several minutes of staring and deliberating i decided the best thing to do was to grab my cell and check my phone calls and tweets from last night and see if there was any clues as to how this magic eggplant had gotten in my fridge. sure as shit, all the evidence pointed to the fact that i had cooked the eggplant parmesan myself. after viewing several twitpics that i sent out between the hours of 6 and 7:30 in the morning, there was no denying the fact that i had created this masterpiece from scratch in a complete black out. after thinking about things thoroughly, i'm pretty sure (although still not 100%) that i must have stumbled home and wanted a snack, so i attempted to make a simple bagel. after miserably failing on the bagel by burning it to the point of petrification, i must have said fuck it, i'm going to "take it to the limit" and do some real party time cookin "luigi style." i have no idea how this did not fail terribly or i did not burn my apartment down, but waking up to this pan of e.p. in my fridge is almost better than the time i woke up next to my ex- girlfriend on the floor of her parent's house and she told me that i slept-walked and peed on her the night before. although there are obvious dangers involved with party-timin' it in the kitchen after waxing a case of high life, i consider it to be a relatively safe alternative to what might be considered the usual antics of a deep black out (raw doggin some broad you just met, driving, getting your ass kicked etc...). "party time cookin. safer than your average blackout." and you've got lunch.

the mysterious eggplant parmesan

a twitpic i sent out around 6:30 am

the charred bagel i dug out of the trash

HOLY FUCK.

2009-08-21T10:44:00.000-07:00

http://consumerist.com/5342699/kfc-has-a-bacon-sandwich-that-uses-fried-chicken-as-bread

SHITS ABOUT TO GET SERIOUS.

2009-08-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

http://1-800-exoticmeats.com/lionmeat.html

DREW BLOOD & THE BURGER BOYZ

2009-08-03T12:57:00.000-07:00

i recently had the opportunity of playing with drew blood in LA. a homie of mine from back here in the mitten that is now a california transplant, drew is doing some really cool shit out there on the left coast. dude djs with two laptops, a video mixer and live streamed you tube clips. bananas. this is a new original video from drew and his crew the burger boyz. really a no- brainer for party time cookin.

http://yodrew.com/

THE WARRIOR.

2009-07-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

i woke up today with a searing burning sensation in my stomach and cold sweats. obviously this was much more severe than my normal hangover. as i started putting the pieces together from last night, i slowly but surely began to realize the cause of my current condition: the warrior. after waxing about 6 pbr tall boys, 2 shots of tequila and a shot of jim beam at dam funk

http://www.myspace.com/damfunk

last night in los angeles (the low end theory @ the airliner), i lurched my way over to 7 eleven and put together the little treat i like to call the warrior. this is a sandwich that i pioneered in my college days in chicago, but will break off from time to time if the occasion is right (the occasion always being enough booze to black out and an empty wallet). so, after spending all my money at the bar last night apart from a wrinkled, sweaty $5 in the bottom of my pocket i made the decision to blatantly disrespect my digestive tract and press on with the warrior. here is how the warrior is made:

you stumble in to 7 eleven ass-wasted and head to the pre-made sandwich section. here you find a variety of bullshit subs and sandwiches that obviously need to be "spiced up" to be tolerable. you can really pick out any sub that you like, but the key is to go with as much meat as possible for as little cash as possible. next, you rip your sandwich open and head over to the chili/ cheese bar. once relegated to tube steaks and nachos, this fountain of free deliciousness is really the backbone of the warrior, adding sustenance, flavor and moisture to what otherwise would taste like cardboard. did i mention it's free? do not be shy with the chili or the cheese, the more the better, especially if you are planning on eating it in the cab on your way home. the chili stains on your shirt the next day will serve as a well needed reminder as to what got you in the condition you're in if you are entirely blacked out and don't remember anything. after the chili/ cheese bar head over to the condiments department. this is where you separate the men from the boys. do not be a pussy. load up on the jalapenos, sport peppers, giardiniera...whatever heat is available. this tends to really be the part of the meal you feel the most the next morning, after the peppers have been marinating in cuervo 1800 for 8 hours. at the time though the spice is tempting and exotic like asian women. by this time you will definitely be getting some questionable stares from others in the 7 eleven that are not as intoxicated as you. ignore these losers and head over to the snack aisle. find a bag of chips that you like. i usually prefer jalapeno, but it is up to you. this is more about texture than anything. i would recommend a traditional style potato chip over something like dorito's as to avoid this unfortunate ailment:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=razor%20blade%20shit

its really pretty rare that i make this in detroit because i usually have some late night recipes that i can whip up at the crib, but if you are in detroit and you are trying to assemble a warrior its a must that you use better made chips.

http://bmchips.com/

if you have a friend in the store with you take the bag of chips and whip them at his/her face. this will cause the chips to crumble into tiny shingles perfect for sprinkling atop your warrior. if you are not with a friend whip them at one of the buttfucks that was staring at you at the chili/ cheese counter. after sprinkling discard of th chip bag by placing it back on the shelf where you got it. this final step completes the warrior and you are now ready to head to the checkout counter. the checkout counter can sometimes present a problem, depending on your level of intoxication. chances are you may have lost the wrapper to you sandwich with the price on it, or they are trying to charge you for the 1/2 lb of chili on your warrior even though it is free. whatever the case, stand your ground no matter how long the line of angry customers forms behind you. they will give in eventually. pay the 3 dollars for the ham and turkey sub you started with and be on your way. this is the audio equivalent of what goes on in your stomach after eating a warrior. http://download.yousendit.com/dVlwanZrdkdKV05MWEE9PQ

the first pic is of the warrior i made last night. the other two pics from 7 eleven are from a couple years ago.